The WTF PRE-MARKET REPORT Wednesday, AUGUST 27th, 2025


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The WTF PRE-MARKET REPORT Wednesday, AUGUST 27th, 2025

Welcome to Humpday Hangtime — the markets are opening flat, like a soda that’s been sitting out since Monday. Traders are holding their breath waiting on NVDA earnings after the close. That’s not just an event—it’s halftime at the Super Bowl of AI. Expect fireworks, or a fumble.

The tape is sluggish, the VIX is sleepy, and the Street is in “wait-and-see” mode. This is the kind of day where discipline pays, and chasing noise gets you chopped.

Pre-Market Movers

  • MongoDB (MDB) — 🔥 Soared 30% after smashing earnings. EPS $1.00 vs $0.66 est. Revenue $591M vs $556M est. Big-data darlings just got bigger.
  • Kohl’s (KSS) — 🛍️ Popped 17% after doubling up expectations. EPS $0.56 vs $0.29 est. Retail resilience or one-time wonder?
  • Canada Goose (GOOS) — 🦆 Flew 17% on private buyout buzz. Bain Capital circling at a $1.35B valuation. Warm coats, hotter bids.
  • PVH (PVH) — 👔 Climbed 7% after Q2 beat. EPS $2.52 vs $2.01 est. Revenue $2.17B vs $2.12B est. Ralph Lauren better keep his tie tight.
  • Abercrombie (ANF) — 👖 Ticked higher after earnings beat. EPS $2.32 vs $2.30 est. Revenue $1.21B vs $1.20B est. Nothing sexy, but still strutting.
  • Okta (OKTA) — 🔐 Gained 4% after blowout quarter. EPS $0.91 vs $0.84 est. Rev $728M vs $712M est. CEO admits: “Better than we thought.” Investors agree.
  • Nvidia (NVDA) — 🤖 Fractionally higher ahead of tonight’s earnings extravaganza. The whole market is basically one giant options straddle on NVDA right now.
  • Cracker Barrel (CBRL) — 🥞 Rose 4% after scrapping rebrand plan following customer + Trump backlash. Hash browns stay, woke branding goes.
  • EchoStar (SATS) — 📡 Extended +6% after 70% rocket yesterday. AT&T spectrum deal still fueling the moonshot.
  • nCino (NCNO) — ☁️ Popped 8% after EPS $0.22 vs $0.14 est., revenue beat by $6M. Cloud software still raining gains.
  • Box (BOX) — 📦 Climbed 5% after EPS $0.33 vs $0.31 est., revenue $294M vs $291M est. Raised guidance—proof there’s still value in the boring “boxes.”

Breaking: Trump’s “Nixon Playbook” Coming to the Fed

What’s Going Down

  • Trump is trying to fire Fed Governor Lisa Cook, citing alleged mortgage fraud. Cook refuses to budge and plans to sue, arguing federal law protects her from arbitrary removal.
  • Critics say this is more than a personnel move—it’s a direct attack on central bank independence, echoing Nixon’s infamous pressure campaigns on the Fed in the 1970sAInvest.
  • The administration is also evaluating broader influence over regional Fed banks—not just board seats.
  • If Trump succeeds, he could stack the Fed board with loyalists, potentially tilting monetary policy toward rate cuts, regardless of inflation risks.

Market Echoes

  • Investors sense danger in eroding independence. Bond yields and the dollar slipped, signaling rising concerns over inflationary risks and credibility loss.
  • Legal and economic scholars warn politicizing the Fed could undermine its ability to fight inflation and destabilize markets.

Trader Psychology Angle

  • Rumor as Instrument: Even whispers of political interference can spook markets faster than actual policy changes.
  • Metaphor as Mirror: This Nixon-era vibe (remember stagflation, anyone?) isn’t just historical—it’s a psychological trigger, lighting up every trader’s “institutional risk” alarm bell.

Mindset Moment — Humpday Reality Check

Politics is the market’s wild card. When power plays threaten independence, volatility is your best friend—and worst enemy.

So ask yourself:

  • Will you chase the noise—an emotional reflex?
  • Or will you embrace discipline, heighten focus, and let this drama unfold while you stay positioned?

Because, in times like these, your edge isn't in reaction—it’s in restraint.

What happens if you chase noise now—and NVDA doesn’t pop? The irony? That could cost more than the politics ever will.

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